Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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