You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
