i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
