Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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