Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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