dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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