I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
