She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
