did you get engaged???
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
