I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
