I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
