honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
