I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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