I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize