STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
