But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
