..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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