so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
