he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize