Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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