I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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