So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
