im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize