I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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