he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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