so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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