I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
