it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
