She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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