That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
