All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
