just come out here and I will go home with you...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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