Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
