He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
