Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
