You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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