when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
