ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
