In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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