we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
