dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
