Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize