I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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