She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
