loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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