you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Boobs speak an international language.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
