i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
