Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize