How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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