i think my tv is drunk
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
