hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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