I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
