Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
