Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
