i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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