WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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