You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
