i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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