Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
