And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can't trust your balls anymore.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
