He is an equal opportunity slut.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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