U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
