It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
