i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
